Comedy Central HD (United Kingdom): TV Schedule for Today

Ventriloquist Jeff Dunham introduces you to his favourite dummies; Mitch the Super Hero, Peanut, Jose Jalapeno (on a stick) and Walter.

For Poorer or Poorer: Ms. Watson gets evicted so Toby lets her move in. Ms. Snap joins a dating website for rich older men. Ms. Bennigan has an awkward student interaction outside school. (S3, E08)

Christian Hard Rock: The boys form a band called Moop, but disagree on what direction they should take. Cartman leaves the band and bets them he will have a platinum record first! (S7, E09)

Grey Dawn: There's an epidemic in South Park. An epidemic of senior citizen related driving accidents! When their licenses are all revoked they decide to fight back military style! (S7, E10)

Casa Bonita: Cartman is overjoyed at going to a Mexican restaurant for Kyle's birthday but is crushed when he finds out Butters is invited instead. He'll have to make Butters "disappear". (S7, E11)

Enjoy another dose of improv chaos, incl. "Weird Newscasters" with grouchy grandma Gary, Ryan reviewing great human inventions, and Wayne presenting the weather as a rock opera. (S12, E18)

Gary plays a frustrated "Hollywood Director", trying to marshal the cast through an Indiana Jones style scene. The performers act as horny people in famous TV shows in "Scenes From A Hat". (S12, E19)

Sporting giant Sir Bradley Wiggins, with Tom Rosenthal, invites real people to take on sporting gods Rebecca Adlington, Raymond Van Barneveld, and Hannah Cockcroft in surreal contests. (S1, E04)

Sporting giant Sir Bradley Wiggins, with comedian Tom Rosenthal, invites real people to take on sporting gods Jimmy Anderson, Tommy Fleetwood, and Rachel Yankey in surreal contests. (S1, E05)

Your one-stop-shop for all things cruise; bringing you the hottest destinations, ground-breaking ships and the latest deals to ensure your next cruise holiday is your greatest one!

Randy Jeff has to swipe left or right in "Dating App", and bizarre super powers appear in the rarely played "Superheroes". Ryan is sent out in the field to report from a horror movie. (S12, E22)

The performers reveal the inner workings of a football huddle, things a driving instructor should never say, and jobs that shouldn't be done in the nude! (S11, E01)

The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance: Joey develops a hernia just as his health insurance expires. Meanwhile, Ross starts to use an "interesting" English accent in his new lectures. (S6, E04)

The One With Joey's Porsche: Joey pretends to be the owner of a Porsche when the owner leaves the keys at Central Perk. Meanwhile, Ross tries to avoid getting a third divorce! (S6, E05)

The One On The Last Night: The gang prepare for big changes in their living arrangements. Monica and Rachel reminisce about their time living together and it's not all good memories! (S6, E06)

The One Where Phoebe Runs: Rachel is embarrassed by Phoebe's "flamboyant" running style and tries to avoid her on her morning jogs.

The One With Ross's Teeth: Ross over-whitens his teeth in order to impress his date. Phoebe may or may not have made out with Ralph Lauren which gets Rachel into trouble with her boss. (S6, E08)

The One Where Ross Got High: On Thanksgiving, Chandler tries to gain favour with Monica's parents. However, an incident from his and Ross' college days hinders his efforts. (S6, E09)

The One With The Routine: Joey plots the perfect opportunity to kiss Janine on a New Year's Eve dance show. Ross and Monica resurrect their high school dance routine for the broadcast. (S6, E10)

The One With The Apothecary Table: Janine (Elle Macpherson) forces Joey to choose between her and his friends. Rachel buys an apothecary table from a store that Phoebe hates. (S6, E11)

The One With The Joke: Chandler is upset when a men's magazine prints Ross's joke. However, both Chandler and Ross claim to have originated the joke. (S6, E12)

The One With Rachel's Sister: Rachel tries to help her pampered younger sister, Jill (guest-star Reese Witherspoon), find independence, that is until she starts flirting with Ross. (S6, E13)

A celebrated analyst (Richard Dreyfuss) inherits Bob (Bill Murray), an obsessive, phobic patient from a colleague. But the doctor finds himself unable to escape Bob's constant presence... (1991)

The One Where Chandler Can't Cry: Angry that Rachel interfered in her relationship with Ross, Jill sets out to seduce him. Meanwhile, Joey learns that people think Phoebe is a porn star. (S6, E14)

The One That Could Have Been (1): Contemplating how differently their lives could have turned out, the gang fantasize about the paths they could have so easily taken. (S6, E15)

The One That Could Have Been (2): In the friends' continuing speculative fantasy, Ross initiates a threesome with his wife and her female friend but it doesn't go the way he wanted. (S6, E16)

The One With Unagi: Chandler and Monica agree to give each other homemade presents for their six-month anniversary and Ross tries to teach martial arts to Rachel and Phoebe. (S6, E17)

The One Where Ross Dates a Student: When a fire damages their apartment, Rachel and Phoebe must choose between living with Joey or Monica. Ross gets into trouble by dating a student. (S6, E18)

The One With Joey's Fridge: Ross tries to contain his paranoia when his student girlfriend goes on spring break with her wild friends. (S6, E19)

The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E: Joey auditions for a major television role, but Chandler almost ruins everything by forgetting to write down a telephone message. (S6, E20)

The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad: Ross fails to impress his girlfriend's father (guest-star Bruce Willis). Joey gets off on the wrong foot with the operator of his robotic co-star. (S6, E21)

The One Where Paul's The Man: While Ross and Elizabeth are on a romantic weekend getaway at her family's cabin, Elizabeth's father (guest-star Bruce Willis) and Rachel show up unexpectedly. (S6, E22)

The One With The Ring: Chandler finds the perfect engagement ring, and then loses it. Rachel tries to get Paul (Bruce Willis) to reveal his emotions, but now he can't stop blubbering. (S6, E23)

The Pub Landlord is back to serve up his unique, special brew of bar-room banter. The Guv tackles everything from global warming and a PC-world gone mad, to debt and the financial crisis!

A misplaced sausage (Seth Rogen) and his savoury friends embark on an existential adventure in a massive supermarket. Kristen Wiig, Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, and James Franco co-star. (2016)

In "Hollywood Director", the cast perform a vampire scene as aggressive talk show guests, Jackass stuntmen and Elvis. Popstar Jordin Sparks joins for a brilliant samba "Dubbing" scene. (S13, E01)