Comedy Central HD (United Kingdom): TV Schedule for Today

Padma Lakshmi returns to play Dubbing, while Heather has to choose a date between a delinquent joyriding girl, the new Bosley and a playboy octopus and Wayne sings songs of roommates. (S11, E02)

Darren Criss returns and sings a Motown song with Wayne and Jeff and a song about bubbles with Wayne and Colin. Greg Proops subs in and helps host the worst neighbour award show. (S11, E03)

You Got F'd in the A: The boys get 'served' by some kids from the O.C. so now 'it's on!'. Stan puts together a dance troupe who must compete in the dance-off. Will Randy's moves save them? (S8, E04)

The Jeffersons: A new family arrive in South Park with a little boy called Blanket, a fairground in the garden and a dad with a penchant for singing and cosmetic surgery. Guess who? Shamone! (S8, E06)

Catch the king of rapid fire wit perform his sell out '3:10 To Humour' show. Rich Hall's critically acclaimed grouchy, deadpan style has established him as a master of absurdist irony.

The One With The East German Laundry Detergent: Ross helps Rachel do laundry and considers the evening a first date. Meanwhile, Joey has Monica pose as his new girlfriend. (S1, E05)

The One With The Butt: Joey gets his big film break when he's hired to be Al Pacino's stunt butt. Meanwhile, Chandler has a relationship with all the "fun" but none of the responsibility. (S1, E06)

Your one-stop-shop for all things cruise; bringing you the hottest destinations, ground-breaking ships and the latest deals to ensure your next cruise holiday is your greatest one!

Al's Video: When Al is asked to host an instructional video, he enlists Tim to direct it, but Tim becomes so obsessed with stylistic concerns that he runs wildly over schedule. (S6, E05)

Whose Car Is It Anyway? Jill purchases a 1967 Austin Healey with some inheritance money; Tim is upset she purchased it without him. She tells him he cannot drive it, but of course, Tim does. (S6, E06)

I Was A Teenage Taylor: It's Halloween, and the pranks begin. Brad and Randy begin with a head in the microwave, Tim and Jill follow up with actor playing a mysterious visitor... (S6, E07)

Jill And Her Sisters: Jill and her sisters get together to plan their parents' 50th wedding anniversary, but there's one problem; they can't stop bickering. (S6, E08)

The Ring: When Ed asks Kyle to secretly take an engagement ring to get fitted, Mike spots him with it. Now, he and Vanessa think Kyle is going to propose to Mandy. (S5, E14)

Home Sweet Loan: Mike has convinced Kristin and Ryan to buy a home instead of renting. But when he finds the ideal place for them, Ryan surprises everyone with a change of heart. (S5, E15)

Jonathan Ross narrates as one hundred brave contestants battle it out to reach Takeshi's castle. There's water, there's mud and there's lots of other unsightly things waiting for them. (S2, E10)

Jonathan Ross narrates as one hundred contestants are gearing up in an attempt to storm Takeshi's Castle. Taking on the slippery Wet Paint, they'll have to prove they've got what it takes. (S3, E01)

Sara Pascoe, Alan Davies, Darren Harriott, and sidekick John Kearns, welcome Nick Helm, Harriet Kemsley, Michael Dappah and Helen Bauer to play another round of absurd guessing games. (S4, E01)

The One With The Proposal (1): Chandler's romantic marriage proposal is ruined when Monica's former boyfriend (Tom Selleck) returns. Joey accidentally buys a boat at a silent auction. (S6, E24)

The One With The Proposal (2): Chandler fools Monica into believing he hates the idea of marriage, but his plan backfires as she seeks consolation with Richard (Tom Selleck). (S6, E25)

The One With Monica's Thunder: Monica excitedly reveals the good news of her engagement to everyone, but Rachel and Ross upstage her by reuniting. (S7, E01)

The One With Rachel's Book: Joey finds out that Rachel is reading a steamy romance novel and Monica discovers that her parents have spent the money for her wedding on a beach house. (S7, E02)

The One With Phoebe's Cookies: Monica becomes obsessed with obtaining Phoebe's secret cookie recipe. Meanwhile, whilst trying to bond, Chandler accidentally gives Monica's dad a lap dance. (S7, E03)

The One With Rachel's Assistant: Rachel wants to hire a cute, young male assistant over a more qualified woman. Meanwhile, Joey's show gets cancelled. (S7, E04)

The One With The Engagement Picture: Joey teaches Chandler how to smile for an engagement picture with Monica. Phoebe and Ross each date the members of a couple preparing for divorce. (S7, E05)

The One With The Nap Partners: Joey and Ross accidentally take a nap together and much to their dismay, find that they like it. Phoebe and Rachel compete to be Monica's maid of honour. (S7, E06)

The One With Ross's Library Book: Ross discovers that his dissertation is in a section of the library where students go to have "relations". (S7, E07)

The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs: Chandler's irrational fear of dogs causes problems when Phoebe brings home a cute canine. (S7, E08)

The One With All The Candy: Monica becomes popular with her neighbours because of her homemade candy. Meanwhile, Ross teaches Phoebe how to ride a bike... literally. (S7, E09)

The One With The Holiday Armadillo: Ross dresses up as an Armadillo to try and teach Ben about Hanukkah. Meanwhile, Phoebe worries that Rachel wants to continue living with Joey. (S7, E10)

The One With All The Cheesecakes: Chandler and Rachel can't help eating the irresistible cheesecakes that are meant for a neighbour. (S7, E11)

The One Where They're Up All Night: After the gang head to the roof to see a passing comet, separate events unfold that lead to all of them having a sleepless night. (S7, E12)

The One Where Rosita Dies: Phoebe becomes involved with a suicidal office worker (Jason Alexander). Meanwhile, Rachel and Chandler both think they've broken Rosita, Joey's recliner. (S7, E13)

The One Where They All Turn Thirty: Rachel's 30th birthday prompts the friends to reminisce about their own 30th celebrations. (S7, E14)

Unscrupulous boxing promoters, violent bookmakers, a Russian gangster, and incompetent amateur robbers fight to track down a priceless stolen diamond. Brad Pitt and Benicio Del Toro star. (2000)

A wild round of "Weird Newscasters" sees Gary playing Colin's overbearing mum, Wayne recreating a 'Taken' movie, and Ryan recounting the history of life on Earth in 30 seconds. (S11, E04)

"Weird Newscasters" brings us a host of crazy co-anchors, incl. Wayne's recreation of 'Tomb Raider' and Jeff's annoying car passenger. Colin and Ryan try to sell some weird aphrodisiacs. (S11, E05)