Comedy Central HD (United Kingdom): TV Schedule for Today

Starting the Conversation: Tony tries to stay out of planning dispute, despite Jim's best efforts. Rhonda wants to raise the department's online presence through social media. (S2, E06)

All About The Mormons: A new family moves to South Park and their son Gary is an unusually perfect Mormon - this angers the boys no end! Will Stan beat him up or go for a family dinner?! (S7, E12)

Butt Out: When the boys' smoking leads to a nasty incident, it's the cigarettes that are blamed rather than them. Cue the glutinous Rob Reiner to arrive in town with his anti-smoking lobby! (S7, E13)

Raisins: When Wendy breaks up with Stan he takes it hard. The boys decide to take him to the restaurant Raisins, where all of the employees are preteen girls who enjoy wearing heavy make-up. (S7, E14)

It's Christmas In Canada: A law is passed in Canada, meaning poor lil' Ike must return to his biological parents. The boys set out to stop this but who is the evil mastermind behind the law? (S7, E15)

Good Times With Weapons: After buying martial arts weapons at a local flea market, the boys are transformed into anime Japanese Warriors, with dire consequences for poor Professor Chaos. (S8, E01)

You are not Brenda, you are not your mum and you are not a fish! Rosie Jones want's you focus on your road to happiness and stop comparing yourself to others. (S1, E02)

Joel and Nish trek through the Andes with the Peruvian porters. They are on an arduous journey to meet the legendary Scissor Dancers but get more than they bargain for... (S2, E01)

Your one-stop-shop for all things cruise; bringing you the hottest destinations, ground-breaking ships and the latest deals to ensure your next cruise holiday is your greatest one!

At Sea: "Tool Time" visits the USS Constellation for a "Salute to Engines". Jill catches Brad making out with his girlfriend. (S6, E01)

Future Shock: Tim is set in his morning routine and Jill wants him to be a bit more flexible.

Workshop 'Til You Drop: Jill takes an doubtful Tim to a marriage workshop for a "tune-up". When Tim is persuaded to open up, Jill is shocked by the revelations. (S6, E03)

Burnin' Love: Jill is invited to her Psychology Dept Potluck Dinner, but banned from taking food. On Tool Time, a woman who knows more than Tim about cars is a guest. (S6, E04)

Polar Run: Mike and Vanessa bet on the outcome of their annual Polar Run, with Mandy trying to negotiate a few perks for herself. Meanwhile, Eve receives news of her West Point application. (S5, E12)

Mike and the Mechanics: Mike tries to cheer up Eve by showing her career options at Outdoor Man, but car mechanic Joe winds up being an unexpected influence on her. (S5, E13)

It's muddy, it's manic, it's Takeshi's Castle. Jonathan Ross narrates as one hundred new recruits face the head bashing Knock Knock and the Human Velcro before attempting the Final Fall. (S2, E08)

Jonathan Ross narrates as a new host of hopefuls attempt to storm the castle but first they face a tumble in Star Bowling and a wobble in Bridge Ball. (S2, E09)

Sara Pascoe, alongside team captains Alan Davies & Darren Harriott, welcome Eastenders' Natalie Cassidy, Phil Wang, Cariad Lloyd, and Larry Dean into their loft to play an array of games. (S1, E08)

The One That Could Have Been (2): In the friends' continuing speculative fantasy, Ross initiates a threesome with his wife and her female friend but it doesn't go the way he wanted. (S6, E16)

The One With Unagi: Chandler and Monica agree to give each other homemade presents for their six-month anniversary and Ross tries to teach martial arts to Rachel and Phoebe. (S6, E17)

The One Where Ross Dates a Student: When a fire damages their apartment, Rachel and Phoebe must choose between living with Joey or Monica. Ross gets into trouble by dating a student. (S6, E18)

The One With Joey's Fridge: Ross tries to contain his paranoia when his student girlfriend goes on spring break with her wild friends. (S6, E19)

The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E: Joey auditions for a major television role, but Chandler almost ruins everything by forgetting to write down a telephone message. (S6, E20)

The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad: Ross fails to impress his girlfriend's father (guest-star Bruce Willis). Joey gets off on the wrong foot with the operator of his robotic co-star. (S6, E21)

The One Where Paul's The Man: While Ross and Elizabeth are on a romantic weekend getaway at her family's cabin, Elizabeth's father (guest-star Bruce Willis) and Rachel show up unexpectedly. (S6, E22)

The One With The Ring: Chandler finds the perfect engagement ring, and then loses it. Rachel tries to get Paul (Bruce Willis) to reveal his emotions, but now he can't stop blubbering. (S6, E23)

The One With The Proposal (1): Chandler's romantic marriage proposal is ruined when Monica's former boyfriend (Tom Selleck) returns. Joey accidentally buys a boat at a silent auction. (S6, E24)

The One With The Proposal (2): Chandler fools Monica into believing he hates the idea of marriage, but his plan backfires as she seeks consolation with Richard (Tom Selleck). (S6, E25)

The One With Monica's Thunder: Monica excitedly reveals the good news of her engagement to everyone, but Rachel and Ross upstage her by reuniting. (S7, E01)

The One With Rachel's Book: Joey finds out that Rachel is reading a steamy romance novel and Monica discovers that her parents have spent the money for her wedding on a beach house. (S7, E02)

The One With Phoebe's Cookies: Monica becomes obsessed with obtaining Phoebe's secret cookie recipe. Meanwhile, whilst trying to bond, Chandler accidentally gives Monica's dad a lap dance. (S7, E03)

The One With Rachel's Assistant: Rachel wants to hire a cute, young male assistant over a more qualified woman. Meanwhile, Joey's show gets cancelled. (S7, E04)

The One With The Engagement Picture: Joey teaches Chandler how to smile for an engagement picture with Monica. Phoebe and Ross each date the members of a couple preparing for divorce. (S7, E05)

The One With The Nap Partners: Joey and Ross accidentally take a nap together and much to their dismay, find that they like it. Phoebe and Rachel compete to be Monica's maid of honour. (S7, E06)

The nation's favourite pub landlord merrily muses over a heady brew of topics, including the global financial crisis and his one man crusade to fix Broken Britain.

Reporting for Duty: When a report finds a tunnel project unviable, there's only one thing to do - find another report. Nat wants to sack an inept worker & Amy completes a barista course. (S2, E07)

Summit Attempt: Tony's holiday is derailed by the arrival of a new minister, a wifi upgrade and Rhonda. Plans for an infrastructure conference become complicated when Karsten gets involved. (S2, E08)

Jimmy Carr and Katherine Ryan host the gameshow that puts couples to the test. Harry and Charlotte will be forced to judge all kinds of faces for the chance to win thousands of pounds. (S1, E01)

Jimmy Carr and Katherine Ryan host the gameshow that puts couples to the test. Anthony and Jestina will be forced to judge all kinds of faces for the chance to win thousands of pounds. (S1, E02)