Comedy Central HD (United Kingdom): TV Schedule for Today

Wing: The boys become talent agents to make an easy buck. They take on a Chinese lady named Wing and are soon confronted by the Chinese mafia, looking for a slice of the action. Fight! (S9, E03)

Best Friends Forever: Kenny is in a coma. Cartman wants life-support turned off so he can get his PSP. But Kenny's spirit is leading the armies of heaven against the demons of hell! (S9, E04)

Performing right by where he grew up in Brooklyn, Tracy Morgan (of "30 Rock" fame) describes his wild family get-togethers, getting kicked out of a party by Prince, and being a doomsday prepper.

Werewolves of Highland: As the Vampire craze hits school, the boys try to join the broody undead to score chicks. They confuse a hirsute homeless man for a werewolf... (S8, E01)

Step By Stepsister: Ms. Snap is surprised when her mother shows up at parent's evening. Ms. Watson and Toby prepare a tap dance routine for the talent show. (S3, E09)

Jon Stewart health checks Trump's dictatorship, after he refuses to correct a wrongful El Salvadorean deportation & displays incompetence across the board. Guest is actor & comedian Ramy Youssef.

The One Where Old Yeller Dies: Phoebe's world view is shattered when she learns how "Old Yeller" really ends. Monica becomes jealous when Richard starts hanging with Joey and Chandler. (S2, E20)

The One With The Bullies: Chandler and Ross run into two bullies at the coffee shop, one of whom steals Chandler's hat. Meanwhile, Phoebe meets a brother she never knew she had. (S2, E21)

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Pump You Up: After Brad gets a soccer scholarship, Tim begins to push him too hard, and the coach kicks Brad off the team. Randy and Lauren want to go out on another date. (S7, E04)

A Night To Dismember: Mark and his friend make a horror movie, with the Taylors being the stars. Tim and Jill view the movie; Mark is shown as the forgotten son who seeks evil... (S7, E05)

The Niece: Wilson's niece, Willow, surprises him with a visit, with the possibility that she might stay with him for a while. Tim becomes impatient because Wilson no longer has time for him. (S7, E06)

Jill's Passion: After a man asks her out at the gym, thinking Tim is Jill's brother, she fantasizes about the man and worries whether the spark has gone out of her marriage. (S7, E07)

Boyd Will Be Boyd: Boyd is turning 10 years old, and sticking with the Baxter family tradition, Mike wants nothing more than to give him a shotgun and take him hunting. (S6, E04)

Trick or Treat: At Halloween the Baxter family is excited about their annual party, except for Mike, who's reluctantly tasked with choosing the theme. (S6, E05)

Jonathan Ross narrates as one hundred contestants attempt to storm Takeshi's Castle. Taking on the swaying Bridge Ball, they'll have to prove they've got what it takes to defeat the guards. (S4, E02)

Jonathan Ross narrates as a brand new batch of contestants head for the castle. Prepare for slips, trips and a whole bunch of falls as they head up the Slippery Wall and over the Slipway. (S4, E03)

Sara Pascoe, Alan Davies, Darren Harriott, and sidekick John Kearns, welcome Rosie Jones, Jordan Grey, Sam Campbell and Thanyia Moore to play another round of absurd guessing games. (S4, E08)

The One Where Rachel Has a Baby, Part 1: Ross and Rachel arrive at the hospital. Ross' mum gives Ross her mother's engagement ring to propose to Rachel with. (S8, E23)

The One Where Rachel Has a Baby, Part 2: After forty-seven hours of labour, Rachel has her baby. However, Joey finds Ross' engagement ring and accidently proposes to a vulnerable Rachel. (S8, E24)

The One Where No One Proposes: Following Joey's accidental proposal to Rachel, he tries to tell her it was an accident but can't find an opportune moment. (S9, E01)

The One Where Emma Cries: When Joey attempts to gain Ross' forgiveness for mistakenly asking Rachel to marry him, they end up in the emergency room. (S9, E02)

The One With the Pediatrician: Phoebe and Joey decide to set each other up on blind dates but Joey forgets, and finds a complete stranger named Mike (Paul Rudd) to be Phoebe's date. (S9, E03)

The One With the Sharks: Monica thinks Chandler is aroused by shark documentaries. Meanwhile, Joey thinks he's already slept with the girl he's dating. (S9, E04)

The One With Phoebe's Birthday Dinner: Phoebe plans a night out for her birthday, but only her and Joey are on time, as all the other friends have issues which make them late. (S9, E05)

The One With the Male Nanny: Ross and Rachel hire a male nanny (Freddie Prinze Jr.). Chandler feels insecure when Monica tells him that she has met "the funniest man she has ever met". (S9, E06)

The One With Ross's Inappropriate Song: Ross accidentally discovers that singing the suggestive lyrics to "Baby Got Back" is the only way to get baby Emma to sleep. (S9, E07)

The One With Rachel's Other Sister: Rachel's spoiled, irresponsible sister, Amy (Christina Applegate) shows up for Thanksgiving and causes arguments amongst the gang. (S9, E08)

The One With Rachel's Phone Number: Rachel and Phoebe go out for a night together. After Rachel gives a guy her phone number, she worries that he'll call when Ross is at the apartment. (S9, E09)

The One With Christmas in Tulsa: When Chandler has to spend Christmas in Tulsa, Monica suspects the worst when she discovers that he will be joined by a beautiful co-worker, Wendy. (S9, E10)

The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work: When Rachel visits her workplace to show off baby Emma, she fears she might lose her job to the handsome temp, Gavin, they hired to replace her. (S9, E11)

The One With Phoebe's Rats: Phoebe coaxes her boyfriend, Mike (Paul Rudd), into helping her care for a litter of baby rats that were born in her cabinet. (S9, E12)

The One Where Monica Sings: Monica gets up the nerve to sing at Mike's piano bar, much to the audience's enthusiasm. Unknowingly, it's her "assets" that are getting most of the attention. (S9, E13)

Kevin giving his take on the modern world, social media, anxiety, religion, waiting for fast food, and comparing Trump to a Glasgow taxi driver.

Panel show based on the weird world of statistics and polls, hosted by Jimmy Carr. Team captains are Sean Lock and Jon Richardson; guests incl. Sarah Millican, Gok Wan & Seann Walsh. (S11, E03)

Panel show based on the weird world of statistics and polls, hosted by Jimmy Carr. Team captains are Sean Lock and Jon Richardson; guests incl. Bear Grylls, Sarah Millican & Patsy Kensit. (S11, E04)

Hot Deadly Dad: With Hot Dad being secretive and frequently leaving the house at night, Mary Louise thinks he may be a serial killer. Caroline tries to teach etiquette and manners to a pupil.(S3, E10)

Lee Evans gives us a side-splitting grand finale to his 100 date sell-out UK tour. More vintage material here as he re-enacts coming home a drunken mess from the pub and Brits on package holidays.