Comedy Central HD (United Kingdom): TV Schedule for Today

Up The Down Steroid: Jimmy is due to take part in the Special Olympics but what dodgy substance is he talked into taking? Cartman fakes being disabled so he can enter and win a $1,000. (S8, E02)

Water Safety: During a water safety class, Butt-Head almost drowns and it's up to Beavis to rescue him. As punishment for goofing around, Coach Buzzcut uses the boys as test dummies for CPR. (S4, E10)

Tom Allen's style of sharp, acerbic wit and riotous storytelling saw him sell out shows all over the country, culminating in this performance at the world-famous London Palladium.

Uncle Roger roasts the crowd, while Nigel delivers side-splitting commentary on life and culture. Allergic to MSG and inappropriate jokes? You've been warned. Filmed on their sold out world tour.

Drink your own juice! Thanyia Moore tells you to ask for more, be who you are and celebrate your success. Don't let anyone hold you back when you're trying to be you. Don't be a dry biscuit! (S1, E03)

Michael Kosta recaps a surprising Democrat victory & Trump launches his "Liberation Day" tariffs. Guest is Melissa Arnot Reid, first US woman to summit & descend Everest without supplemental oxygen.

The One Where It All Began: After Rachel leaves her fiancé at the altar, she moves in with Monica and finds that life isn't so easy without Daddy's credit cards. (S1, E01)

The One With The Sonogram At The End: Ross's lesbian ex-wife is pregnant with his child, and he doesn't like her choice of a last name for the baby. (S1, E02)

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Mr. Wilson's Opus: Randy gets frustrated when Wilson directs the school production of Romeo and Juliet. (S5, E23)

Shopping Around: Tim and Jill can't decide what to do when they see Mr Leonard on a date with a woman who isn't Tim's mother. (S5, E24)

Alarmed By Burglars: When Wilson is the victim of a break-in, Jill becomes safety-obsessed and gets Tim to install a high-tech security system. (S5, E25)

Games, Flames & Automobiles: Al invests his life savings in the "Tool Time" board game. (S5, E26)

The Big Sleepover: When Eve tells the family her annoying best friend Cammy needs to move in with them, Mike springs into action to find a way to hand Cammy off on someone else... (S5, E08)

The Puck Stops Here: When Boyd's hockey team needs a new coach, Mike surprises everyone when he recommends Ryan for the job since he was an all-star hockey player in high school. (S5, E10)

Jonathan Ross narrates as the General rallies another one hundred troops for Runaway Rockaway, Turtle Path and the Final Fall before getting their chance to storm the Castle of Takeshi. (S2, E05)

Jonathan Ross narrates as one hundred contestants try to avoid and the pirates in Turtle Path before getting a soaking in Wet Paint. All of them aiming to storm the castle for victory. (S2, E06)

Sara Pascoe, alongside team captains Alan Davies and Darren Harriott, welcome Konnie Huq, Hal Cruttenden, Aisling Bea, and Nathan Caton into their loft to play an array of guessing games. (S1, E07)

The One With Ross's Teeth: Ross over-whitens his teeth in order to impress his date. Phoebe may or may not have made out with Ralph Lauren which gets Rachel into trouble with her boss. (S6, E08)

The One Where Ross Got High: On Thanksgiving, Chandler tries to gain favour with Monica's parents. However, an incident from his and Ross' college days hinders his efforts. (S6, E09)

The One With The Routine: Joey plots the perfect opportunity to kiss Janine on a New Year's Eve dance show. Ross and Monica resurrect their high school dance routine for the broadcast. (S6, E10)

The One With The Apothecary Table: Janine (Elle Macpherson) forces Joey to choose between her and his friends. Rachel buys an apothecary table from a store that Phoebe hates. (S6, E11)

The One With The Joke: Chandler is upset when a men's magazine prints Ross's joke. However, both Chandler and Ross claim to have originated the joke. (S6, E12)

The One With Rachel's Sister: Rachel tries to help her pampered younger sister, Jill (guest-star Reese Witherspoon), find independence, that is until she starts flirting with Ross. (S6, E13)

The One Where Chandler Can't Cry: Angry that Rachel interfered in her relationship with Ross, Jill sets out to seduce him. Meanwhile, Joey learns that people think Phoebe is a porn star. (S6, E14)

The One That Could Have Been (1): Contemplating how differently their lives could have turned out, the gang fantasize about the paths they could have so easily taken. (S6, E15)

The One That Could Have Been (2): In the friends' continuing speculative fantasy, Ross initiates a threesome with his wife and her female friend but it doesn't go the way he wanted. (S6, E16)

The One With Unagi: Chandler and Monica agree to give each other homemade presents for their six-month anniversary and Ross tries to teach martial arts to Rachel and Phoebe. (S6, E17)

The One Where Ross Dates a Student: When a fire damages their apartment, Rachel and Phoebe must choose between living with Joey or Monica. Ross gets into trouble by dating a student. (S6, E18)

The One With Joey's Fridge: Ross tries to contain his paranoia when his student girlfriend goes on spring break with her wild friends. (S6, E19)

The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E: Joey auditions for a major television role, but Chandler almost ruins everything by forgetting to write down a telephone message. (S6, E20)

The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad: Ross fails to impress his girlfriend's father (guest-star Bruce Willis). Joey gets off on the wrong foot with the operator of his robotic co-star. (S6, E21)

The One Where Paul's The Man: While Ross and Elizabeth are on a romantic weekend getaway at her family's cabin, Elizabeth's father (guest-star Bruce Willis) and Rachel show up unexpectedly. (S6, E22)

The One With The Ring: Chandler finds the perfect engagement ring, and then loses it. Rachel tries to get Paul (Bruce Willis) to reveal his emotions, but now he can't stop blubbering. (S6, E23)

TV presenters Marvin and Rochelle Humes both hand over their phones in the first ever double Send To All. Plus whose bedroom will Michael be sneaking into in the return of Midnight Gameshow? (S3, E04)

In "Hollywood Director", the cast perform a vampire scene as aggressive talk show guests, Jackass stuntmen and Elvis. Popstar Jordin Sparks joins for a brilliant samba "Dubbing" scene. (S13, E01)

This special episode showcases never before seen games and outtakes, starting with a frantic "Forward Rewind" followed by the rarely played game "Hats". Star guests incl. Candice Accola. (S12, E01)

The Pub Landlord is back to serve up his unique, special brew of bar-room banter. The Guv tackles everything from global warming and a PC-world gone mad, to debt and the financial crisis!